As I spoke about in my first post, what wellbeing looks like is different for every person, the key is to find out what works for you and to stay in your own lane, find what speaks to you, what inspires you, and what makes a difference. We don’t need to be concerned with what every other person is doing. Sure, it’s great to take inspiration from others you admire, but giving yourself limitations on what can work for you, and trying to force things that don’t, might be the exact reason you haven’t yet found what does.

Even after I thought I knew who I was at my core, I went on to spend many years chasing unrealistic goals comparing myself with online influencers who seemingly had everything I thought I wanted, and were the picture of perfection (whatever that even is?!) only to burn myself out chasing something that wasn’t meant for me. I tried it all, failed more times than I can count and then came across one account that changed the game for me. Ironically it wasn’t anything this particular influencer was promoting, it was the sharing of an experience that made me realise, I wasn’t experiencing anything, I was simply existing. I vowed to myself there and then I would make a change, stop trying to do 100 things at 1% just because they worked for someone else, and to stop waiting for the perfect time to “live”. It was time to focus on finding what worked for me, the right methods and techniques that aligned with who I wanted to be.

My advice would be to try everything once, and value each experience but only invest in those that really speak to you. When you do, you start living with intention and that’s when the transformation happens. You find that when you come across the techniques that genuinely work for you, consistency, dedication and motivation aren’t forced, they come naturally.

Granted, there are always going to be things in life we all have to do, that we don’t always and can’t always feel motivated to do (that’s where discipline comes in), but finding a lifestyle that encourages you to shift your mindset from “I have to do/ I should do” to “I get to do” is all the motivation you’ll find you’ll need.

I’m a self confessed perfectionist so the idea that I didn’t have to be doing everything and anything to see results with my own journey, was a hard concept to get my head around. However, when I started seeing positive changes from focusing on quality over quantity, and being intentional with whatever I invested my time in, I learnt that wellbeing for me is just as much about being softer with myself, embracing the rest and recovery as well as showing up for the hard work, and maintaining the discipline I have always been so good at pushing myself with.

I took a leap and invested everything in a retreat which I hoped would press reset on my life and spark a change. It did, not because of the retreat itself – although it was transformative in every way imaginable – I think the real changes came from getting honest with myself, allowing myself to let go of everything I thought I knew and just be. Everyday there gave me a better understanding of myself, what I need, what I want and who I am. Knowing it was my one and only shot, I immersed myself in every workshop, experience, treatment, and group activity in order to come back with a new lease on life. A lot of which I will go into detail about in other posts, as they are what this space is all about – exploration – but one particular practice I began there that changed EVERYTHING for me, was journaling. It brought me back to life, and it’s why I started Avaia.

Journaling is a beautiful ritual that encourages self reflection, self awareness, and allows your mind to sort through the thousands of thoughts we have on a daily basis. For any one of us that has to be of some benefit… to simply slow down, and practice the art of being more mindful. Practising first thing helps me to start my day in a calmer and more intentional way, but that may not be a practical or enjoyable time for others, this is why finding your own style, your own way of doing things, your own wellbeing language is key.

I know we’re all writers here so this doesn’t seem ground-breaking, but the difference with journaling is that unlike posting online it’s only ever got one viewer, you. There’s no editing (in fact I’d argue if you do edit you’re missing the point entirely, you’re missing the freedom that journaling encourages), and the subject is you, not the version of you you’re comfortable sharing with the world, the raw, real, unfiltered you.

It was all an accident, I simply wanted to keep a diary of my experiences whilst away, but it quite rapidly evolved into something I could never have expected. It saved me.

Before I started journaling, I thought it had to be specific, regimented, and guided… but what I’ve come to realise is that there’s no right or wrong way to journal, it’s simply about aligning with who you are in that moment and using it to release. Being someone who is very goal oriented I thought I would need prompts to “correctly” journal but I soon discovered it’s the one part of my life where I can feel completely emotionally free and I needed to keep it that way, no rules, just the knowing that whatever I end up writing is mine. It’s helped me understand what it means to be fully present, in a way that yoga and meditation could never because it asks me to be stay in my body but active with my mind.

Sometimes I will do an additional journaling session if I feel a specific journaling prompt will be beneficial but keeping those morning pages free from expectations means I approach it with the curiosity it deserves.

Try it, grab a pen and paper and write, whatever comes to the surface, not focusing on the result, or the outcome, just live in that moment, that’s where the magic happens.

If however you do need a little guidance to start…

A technique I would recommend is the 3,2,1 method. Start by listing 3 things you’re grateful for, then 2 things you’re curious about and finally 1 intention for the day ahead.

So I think in answer to my original question, how do you find what will work for you when you’ve spent your whole life being influenced? You let go of the rules, you quiet the noise… and you get curious.